In which someone dies, but Tris is still the center of the universe…
Christina wakes up Tris from a dream where her mother was cooking a crow. What’s with the freaking crows? Christina has been crying because of Al; she has mascara tinted tears. Does she sleep with make up on? Not cool, book. If any girl is reading this, don’t sleep with make up because you’re going to destroy your pretty face.
They run to the chasm where a crowd has gathered. They see two men pulling a huge, dark shape. And surprise, Al offed himself. Tris has a small panic attack and collapses to the ground with Christina.
I hear something, a memory of sound. Al’s sobs; his screams at night. Should have known.
What should have she known? And if the answer is depression, I’m going to be annoyed.
Someone brings a body bag, but it is too small and Tris almost laughs. Finally, she runs from Christina.
The next scene is in the tattoo parlor and Tris is having a mug of tea with Tori. Apparently, the Dauntless like to have funerals as quickly as possible. Because it is a great time to get drunk. Yep, that’s how the Dauntless mourn: they drink until they drop. Where the hell does all that alcohol come from? You need cereals or fruit to make alcoholic beverages and it’s seems such a waste to use those to produce so much alcohol, instead of eating them. I thought they were food depraved or something in this society. They sure don’t act like that.
At home, a funeral is a somber occasion. Everyone gathers to support the deceased’s family, and no one has idle hands, but there is no laughter, or shouting, or joking. And the Abnegation don’t drink alcohol, so everyone is sober. It makes sense that funerals would be the opposite here.
No, it doesn’t make sense. Also, if the Abnegation don’t drink alcohol, why do they approve using cereals and/or fruits to make it? And don’t tell me, it’s for the Dauntless benefit.
Tris asks Tori how long it took her to get over her brother’s death. She answers that there are day she still doesn’t feel ok, which is one thing that makes sense. I lost my dad a long time ago, when I was a kid, and some days I still feel extremely bad. Still, Tori is waiting for the opportunity to avenge her brother’s death.
Before going to the funeral, Tris just empties her mug of tea in the sink, which again is wasteful. Tea is made from plants that need to be grown. This book annoys me because it’s like stuff grows on trees or something instead of someone making it.
She finds Uriah, Will, and Christina, the last one being the only one crying. Uriah offers her some alcohol, but she refuses, so Molly makes fun of her for that and mentions another article. So, what does Tris do naturally? She kicks her in the jaw, ready to start a brawl, but Will stops them. It’s like Tris’s answer to everything is violence.
Apparently, no one in Abnegation has committed suicide recently because it is considered an act of selfishness. From what I read about Abnegation, I wonder how come they don’t off themselves more often because their life seems depressing.
Eric gives a speech about Al’s death, how Al was so courageous to kill himself and that they will always remember him. And then they drink. Tris can’t stand it anymore, so she leaves and wanders around until she bumps into Four.
Courageous? Courageous would have been admitting weakness and leaving Dauntless, no matter what shame accompanied it. Pride is what killed Al, and it is the flaw in every Dauntless heart. It is in mine.
Neah, I think it was shame that pushed him to kill himself. Shame he hurt Tris. If he was a proud person, he wouldn’t have thrown the towel in those fights. Suicide: courageous or cowardly? That’s a whole debate. But it does takes some guts (and not to mention, loads of self-loathing) to go against any self-preservation instincts. It also takes a lot of courage to live especially when you’ve made a lot of mistakes.
Tris asks Four what he’s doing there instead of paying his respects.
“Shouldn’t you?” he says. […]
“Can’t pay respect when you don’t have any,” I reply. I feel a twinge of guilt and shake my head. “I didn’t mean that.”
It would make sense for her to feel guilty, especially since the last thing she said to Al was “I’m going to kill you if you came near me.” But, she didn’t have any respect for Al because he was crying loudly the first night.
Tris goes on a diatribe against Eric and says how Al was depressed, a coward and almost killed her. Did Al hit her or something? Have I misread that part?
“It’s about everyone watching! Everyone who now sees hurling themselves into the chasm as a viable option. I mean, why not do it if everyone calls you a hero afterward? Why not do it if everyone will remember your name? It’s… I can’t”
Well, I think everyone’s so drunk they don’t really hear what Eric’s saying anyway. But she does have a point: it’s not really a good idea to call people who commit suicide heroes.
Then, Tris starts yelling that this wouldn’t have happened in Abnegation and Four tells her to be careful. He then pulls her away and traps her with his body to tell her they are watching her. They are doing a lame job if you ask me. And why does she have to be careful? Because she bad-mouthing her faction?
I fear his shifting moods. They show me something unstable inside of him, and instability is dangerous.
Swoon, love! Honestly, why is it okay for heroines to fear their love interests? It’s not just this book, there are others with the same pattern. Oh, well, I’ll include it in my rules. Rule #34: The heroine must fear Hot Guy.
Four says that he keeps helping her, but she refuses his help. Huh. I think the only time he helped her was two chapters ago when he beat Drew. I didn’t see her refusing. Tris reminds him of that time when he nicked her ear and keep taunting her. His answer:
“I was reminding you that if you failed, someone else would take your place.”
Dude, you’re taunting her and had several days to come up with an excuse. And of course, Tris thinks back to that day and she understands his actions now. Whatever.
“If I were you, I would do a better job of pretending that selfless impulse is going away,” he says, “because if the wrong people discover it…well, it won’t be good for you.”
So, every Dauntless is selfish? Doesn’t it require some selflessness to protect other people? The Dauntless are supposed to be a security force, and protect the other factions. How could they do that if all they care is about themselves? Not even about their other Dauntless friends? Why aren’t they watching Christina then who’s bawling her eyes out? Anyway, the Dauntless leaders want the initiates to think in a certain way. Well, why aren’t they doing a better job during this initiation then?
I wish I was taller. If I was tall, my narrow build would be described as “willowy” instead of “childish,” and he might not see me as a little sister he needs to protect.
I’m starting to find disturbing the fact she keeps comparing her looks to a child’s looks. It makes me think of Four as a pedophile. Really.
“You’re acting how they want you now,” he says, “but what happens when your Abnegation-wired brain tells you to do something else, something they don’t want?”
Oh, so now she has Abnegation habits again. They just took some time off when she told Al she’s going to kill him. She’s thinking about her brain is probably wired like the Divergent. Whatever that means. She says she doesn’t need his help because she’s not weak. So, only weak people ask for help, book? That’s a shitty message.
“You think my first instinct is to protect you. Because you’re small, or a girl, or a Stiff. But you’re wrong.”
He leans his face close to mine and wraps his fingers around my chin. [… ] My skin tingles at the point of contact, like he’s transmitting electricity through his skin.
“My first instinct is to push you until you break, just to see how hard I have to press,” he says, his fingers squeezing at the word “break.”
WTF? “I don’t want to protect you, I want to break you.” Since when is that romantic? It’s actually sick and abusing if you think about it. And, writers, can you find another fucking metaphor for attraction and lust? I’m just so sick and tired of reading about “electricity” in all those YA books. And being electrocuted doesn’t feel good. Have you ever tried one of those prank buzzers? It’s horrible.
“Why is that your first instinct?”
“Fear doesn’t shut you down; it wakes you up. I’ve seen it. It’s fascinating.” He releases me but doesn’t pull away, his hand grazing my jaw, my neck. “Sometimes I just…want to see it again. Want to see you awake.”
I saw that fear quote all over Tumblr. Shutting down is not a reaction to fear, it is a stress reaction. The reaction to fear is the fight or flight response, that basically prepares your body to fight or run.
They hug each other, and now Four doesn’t scare Tris anymore. Because the “I want to break you” statement was just so romantic. She asks him if she should be crying. Probably, but I don’t think Al was that important to you, Tris. At the same time she’s asking herself why is she so special. Here’s a badge for you, Tris.
I don’t expect Four to reassure me, and he makes no effort to, […]
Who wouldn’t want such a boyfriend?
She feels like it’s her fault because she hasn’t forgiven Al, but Four assures her it isn’t. Well, her fault is threatening him, if we are looking for faults, which probably triggered a lot of self loathing.
“[…] Maybe there’s more we all could have done,” he says, “but we just have to let the guilt remind us to do better next time.”
I frown and pull back. That is a lesson that members of Abnegation learn — guilt as a tool, rather than a weapon against self.
Hint hint. Guess from what faction
Tobias Four is? Also, a better lesson would be don’t do stuff that makes you feel guilty afterward.
And the chapter ends with Four giving Tris a kiss on her forehead for a long time.