Summary: Welcome to the rabbit hole…
I am the last person in New York City who would fall head over heels in love.
Independent. Self-possessed. Why would I want to f**k that up?
My online dating profile at bd-fet.com simply reads: “Just looking.”
So why am I obsessing about Jon Sudbury?
Jon, the reporter, is vanilla as a milkshake and has probably never tasted rice and beans on the same plate before we met.
At least that’s what I thought.
Why can’t people remain simple and predictable?
All I want is control, not to be sent hurtling at maximum speed into the unknown.
Nothing about our story makes sense.
The thing is, I can handle desire, lust, passion, even betrayal…
But love is another world altogether.
And this is not a love story.
My thoughts: I didn’t have a lot of expectations when I started reading this book, but as I kept turning the pages I grew more and more fascinated by the characters and their story. It is not your typical clichéed romance story with a happy ending. It’s much more than that and it’s almost like a voyeuristic experience focused on Sabrien’s feelings. Sabrien meets Jon through a dating site and starts exchanging messages, talking on the phone, meeting with him. And she falls hard for him. They break up, they start hanging out and then they “break up” again. Sabrien is devastated and trying to make peace with the events. Was it love? Or was it infatuation or obsession? I don’t know if we’ll find out ever.
Sabrien’s character really grew on me. I could sympathize with her inability to express what she really means and misreading Jon. Sometimes it can be really hard to communicate with someone, and this book manages to capture that feeling of frustration. I kind of knew that Sabrien wasn’t pregnant, and there was something wrong, so I felt really sad when she actually revealed her problem. I would also describe her as rational and she would sometime include stuff like gentrification in her thoughts. It seems like she can never stop analyzing things. But this is also her downfall, because she can’t handle well the avalanche of emotions she’s caught in after breaking up with Jon.
Jon’s character is mainly seen from Sabrien’s point of view, so it ranges from nice to annoying. There are a couple of chapters told from Jon’s point of view and we can see that he’s frustrated by Sabrien inability to open and communicate with him. Still, that doesn’t really excuse him from his asshole moments. Yeah, I didn’t really like Jon.
The sex scenes weren’t over the top like in most erotic books, and they weren’t very detailed. The first sex scene is a BDSM scene and it includes urophagia. I think it’s good to know as some readers might be umcomfortable with that. Sabrien is not a very good Dom, but like I said she misreads Jon constantly.
I think the last 7 chapters were extremely good as they managed to capture the fallout from Sabrien and Jon relationship. Sabrien trying to find people to tell what happened between her and Jon, so they could confirm it wasn’t her fault was actually sad, but very real at the same time. Sabrien doesn’t have the coping mechanisms for a breakup, so she struggles to find a way to move on even though she’s convinced she loves Jon. The last chapter is great, but I’m not going to spill the ending, so you’ll just have to read to find out.
The book might start a bit slow, but I advise you to keep going because it gets better and better. I think one of its best qualities (and a quality I appreciate in any book) is that it makes you think and reflect upon your own relationships. As I said before, it’s not a perfect romance, but it is close to reality and so raw, it’s almost haunting.
Rating: 4 stars
About the author: S.C. Rhyne is a world traveler, blogger, and novelist based in New York City. When she isn’t writing or exploring, she enjoys swimming, reading historical fiction, and discovering new music. Her first novel, The Reporter and The Girl blurs the lines of reality and imagination, and conjures the emotions that bind us together.
You can follow S.C. Rhyne on this websites: